10 Signs He’s Redirecting His Attraction to Someone Else
When you’re head over heels in love, it’s hard to see the cracks.
Even when they’re right there.
I get it.
You love him. You trust him. You’ve built something real with him. So the thought that he could be shifting his attention to someone else? That’s heavy. That’s painful. And sometimes, it’s the last thing you want to believe.
But girl, your intuition isn’t lying. If something feels off, there’s probably a reason.
This is why I’m writing this. Because sometimes, you just need someone to say it like it is. No sugarcoating. No fluff. Just real talk.
Let’s dive into it.
Here are 10 signs he might be redirecting his attraction to someone else.
1. He Doesn’t Spend Time with You Anymore
Remember when he couldn’t get enough of you? He always wanted to be around. Even if y’all were just lying on the couch doing nothing, he was there.
Now?
You can’t even remember the last time he planned a date night. Or asked to hang out. Or acted like he genuinely wanted to be around you.
It starts small. Maybe he’s always “busy.” Then it turns into missed calls, ignored texts, and weekends spent “with the boys” every single time.
Let’s be honest. When someone loves you and wants you, they make time. Period.
If his time is going to someone else, that’s a huge red flag.
But wait. Before you go off on him, ask yourself first… is he stressed? Overwhelmed? Going through something?
Sometimes life gets heavy. Don’t jump the gun. But if it’s been weeks and he’s still acting cold, sis… trust your gut.
2. He’s Secretive with His Phone
Okay let’s talk about the phone thing.
If all of a sudden, his phone becomes some kind of top-secret device that you’re not even allowed to glance at… something’s fishy.
Like, why is the screen always facing down?
Why does he carry it to the bathroom like it’s a newborn baby?
Why is it suddenly password-protected after years of being open?
Look. Everyone deserves privacy. But secrecy is something else.
If he’s jumping out of his skin every time you get close to his phone, girl, he’s hiding something.
Probably messages. Calls. DMs. Pictures. Who knows.
And don’t let him guilt-trip you into thinking you’re being “crazy” for noticing. You’re not. You’re observant.
3. He Stops Using Endearing Words for You
This one stings.
The “babes,” “my queen,” “sweetheart,” “love you” messages slowly disappear.
At first, you think he’s just tired or distracted.
But days go by. Weeks. Still nothing.
When a man is into you, he wants you to feel it. He wants to remind you that you’re the one.
If he used to gas you up all the time and now suddenly talks to you like you’re his flatmate, something’s up.
Chances are, he’s pouring all those sweet words into someone else’s ears. Ugh. I know.
It’s not just about words. It’s about affection. Vibes. Energy.
And if you’re not getting it, trust me… someone else probably is.
4. Talking Over the Phone Frequently
Now, this one hits different when it’s late at night.
Like 11 PM and he’s whispering on the phone? Laughing quietly? Then you ask, “Who was that?” and he’s like “No one. Just work stuff.”
Sir. Be serious.
Nobody’s talking about “work” that late at night, giggling like a high schooler.
He’s clearly talking to someone that excites him.
And if it’s not you, then who is it?
You deserve honesty. And if you’re being met with lies or evasiveness, then your feelings are 100 percent valid.
Ask him directly. See how he reacts. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
5. He is No Longer Interested in Intimacy With You
This one hurts on so many levels.
Because intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about connection. Closeness. Chemistry.
If your man used to crave your touch, your kisses, your presence… and now suddenly he pulls away?
Sis, your antennas should go up.
We’re not saying he owes you anything. But a sudden, unexplained change in intimacy? That usually points to one thing.
His focus is elsewhere.
He’s getting his emotional or physical needs met… from someone else.
Especially if you’ve tried initiating and he acts cold or dismissive. Or worse, annoyed.
Nah. That’s not love.
6. Comparing You with Other Women
Oof. This one right here?
It cuts deep.
You start hearing things like:
“Why don’t you dress like that?”
“She’s just really smart, you know?”
“She’s so chill, not dramatic like some people.”
Whew.
Comparisons are poison in a relationship.
When a man starts idolizing another woman in front of you, it’s not just disrespectful. It’s a sign that he’s seeing someone else in a different light.
You used to be his dream girl. Now he’s slowly convincing himself someone else fits that picture better.
Don’t let that slide.
You are not a placeholder until someone better comes along.
7. He is Distant Emotionally
Have you ever sat next to him… and still felt alone?
Like, he’s there… but he’s not there.
You talk, he mumbles. You open up, he shrugs. You cry, he stares blankly.
Yeah. That’s emotional distance.
And emotional cheating is real.
Sometimes, that hurts even more than physical cheating.
Because your heart starts to feel abandoned. You’re craving connection with the man you love, and he’s checked out.
When a man is emotionally invested in someone else, he becomes cold with you. Detached. Unavailable.
Don’t ignore that silence. It says a lot.
8. He Stops Planning the Future with You
Okay so remember when he used to talk about marriage?
Trips you’d take. Kids. The house you’d buy.
Now it’s crickets.
Or worse, when you bring it up, he changes the topic. Or makes excuses.
That’s not just a bad mood. That’s a shift in mindset.
When a man stops planning the future with you, it’s because he’s no longer seeing a future with you.
He might be entertaining someone else in his head. Someone he now sees that future with.
Hard pill to swallow. But a necessary one.
9. Gifting Other Women
This one is tricky.
Sometimes, a man might genuinely buy gifts for coworkers, friends, or family. And that’s okay.
But when he starts buying gifts for random women you’ve never heard of? And you’re left out?
That’s suspicious.
Especially if he stops buying you anything. Not even a rose from the gas station. But he’s out there buying earrings for “just a friend.”
C’mon.
It’s not about the gifts. It’s about where his energy, time, and affection are going.
And if it’s not coming to you… that says a lot.
10. He Becomes Defensive
This is the part where things get loud.
You ask a simple question like,
“Who was that girl you were texting?”
And suddenly he’s yelling,
“Why don’t you trust me?”
“You’re always accusing me!”
“Can’t I have friends anymore?”
Deep breath.
You are not the problem.
He’s just trying to deflect.
Getting defensive is a tactic. It makes you feel guilty for asking real questions.
But don’t fall for it.
If he’s truly innocent, he’d have nothing to hide. No reason to react like that.
But if he’s being shady? His reactions will tell you more than his words ever could.
Final Thoughts
Look. Relationships aren’t always sunshine and butterflies.
People grow. People change. And sometimes, people lose sight of what they have.
But you are not crazy for noticing the signs.
You are not “too sensitive.”
You are not “imagining things.”
You’re simply paying attention.
And when love feels like confusion, stress, and uncertainty… it’s okay to take a step back and re-evaluate.
You deserve someone who chooses you every day. Who gives you their full attention. Not just the leftovers.
So if these signs hit close to home… have that conversation. Listen to your gut.
And whatever you do, don’t ignore your own worth.
You got this, queen.
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