How to be a Confident Shy Person : Why You Shouldn’t Bother about Your Shyness: 10 Tips

Let’s just start with the truth. I am a shy person.

Yes, me. The person behind this blog. The person writing this post. Shy. Reserved. Often awkward in public. I’d rather text than call, rather observe than talk, and honestly, sometimes I rehearse what I want to say in my head like five times before I say it out loud. Hehehe.

But here’s the thing. I’m also confident. Yep, it sounds contradictory but keep reading and I’ll explain.

When Shyness Becomes a Problem

So, when should you even bother about your shyness?

Because we can’t all be bubbly extroverts, right? We’re not all meant to be loud, talkative, or the center of every gathering.

But here’s when shyness becomes a problem: when it stops you from living. From doing things you love. From pursuing the dreams burning in your chest. From using your God-given talents. That’s when it needs a little side-eye.

Shyness is only a problem when it puts a lid on your potential.

Let me tell you something funny but very real.

I used to daydream about teaching Bible study when I was in nursing school. But I never joined because I couldn’t bear the thought of standing in front of people. I would literally feel my heart crawling into my stomach. Just the thought of “all those eyes on me” made me want to vanish.

But one day, I just did it. Scared and sweaty and soft-voiced, I joined.

And that first class? Oof. Let’s not even talk about how I forgot half of what I planned to say. But I stayed. I kept going.

Now? Ten years later, I’m still teaching. Still doing the thing that once terrified me. Still a shy person. But confident.

So What Changed?

Not the shyness. That’s still there. I still get nervous. Still have those awkward pauses.

But I learned something that changed everything: confidence is not the absence of fear. It’s doing it afraid.

That’s what courage is. It’s showing up while your hands are shaking and your voice is trembling. It’s saying “yes” to opportunities even when your brain is like, “Nope, nope, nope.”

I didn’t wait to become fearless. I just did it anyway. I did it shy.

Real Talk: Even Beyoncé Is Shy

Can you believe Beyoncé is shy?

Yeah, Queen B.

In an interview with Parade Magazine back in 2006, she admitted she’s actually shy and vulnerable in real life.

She said she created her stage persona, Sasha Fierce, as a way to protect herself. Sasha is bold, fearless, and fierce. But Beyoncé offstage? Quiet, private, soft-spoken.

I mean, if Beyoncé gets butterflies, who are we to expect 24/7 confidence?

So, Can You Be a Confident Shy Person?

Absolutely.

You can be the person who shakes a little before speaking, but still stands up and speaks.

You can be someone who dreads networking events but still goes and makes one good connection.

You can be quiet, introverted, shy — and still own your space, your gifts, your voice.

Confidence is not about being loud.

It’s about being present.

It’s about doing the thing anyway.

My Sister’s Question

A few weeks ago, my kid sister asked me, “Is it possible to have a passion for a career when you don’t have the confidence for it?”

Whew. That hit.

She gave examples — like wanting to be a journalist but being too shy to talk to strangers or do interviews.

I told her this: passion and potential are the fuel. Confidence is the skill.

And guess what? Skills can be learnt.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. But it’s definitely possible.

You just need to start. Even if you’re afraid. Even if you feel awkward.

Start small. Practice. Repeat. Grow.

Tip 1: Accept That You’re Shy

Don’t fight it. Don’t hate it. Don’t try to completely erase it.

Shyness isn’t a flaw. It’s just a part of your personality. Like being left-handed or liking pineapple on pizza. It’s a thing. That’s it.

When you stop seeing it as a problem, it stops controlling you.

Tip 2: Know When It’s Getting in Your Way

Be real with yourself. Is your shyness keeping you from applying for jobs? Starting that YouTube channel? Joining a community?

That’s when you gently push yourself. Not to be someone else. But to not let fear call the shots.

Tip 3: Use It as a Strength

Shy people are often thoughtful, observant, and empathetic. We listen deeply. We notice things others miss. That’s a superpower.

You don’t need to change who you are. Just learn to work with what you’ve got.

Tip 4: Do It Afraid

Seriously. Whatever “it” is — presenting, teaching, creating content, speaking up — do it afraid.

Fear fades. Action builds confidence. Every time you do it, it gets a tiny bit easier.

Tip 5: Fake a Tiny Bit of Boldness

This is not pretending to be someone else. It’s borrowing courage for a moment.

Before a big event or moment, imagine your confident self. Your Sasha Fierce.

Channel that. Then show up.

Tip 6: Don’t Wait for Confidence to Magically Appear

Confidence isn’t a package that arrives at your doorstep with a bow.

It grows when you act. It grows when you keep showing up even when you’re scared.

So don’t wait. Move.

Tip 7: Find Safe Practice Spaces

Join a small group. Volunteer to teach Sunday school. Start a blog (hehehe). Host tiny Zoom meetups.

Get comfortable with being visible, one small space at a time.

Tip 8: Reflect On Your Wins

Every time you do something brave, write it down.

Your first time speaking up in a meeting. Your first Instagram live. Your first blog post.

Look back often. You’ll see how far you’ve come.

Tip 9: Stay Around People Who Get You

Some people will say “you’re too quiet” or “you need to speak more.” Ignore them.

Find people who see your light, even when it shines softly.

Their support will remind you that you’re more than enough.

Tip 10: Keep Your Eyes On Purpose

Purpose is louder than fear.

If you love teaching, sing through the fear.

If you love helping people, speak even when your voice cracks.

If you feel called to create, then create, even if your hands are shaking.

Shyness isn’t the enemy. Fear isn’t the enemy.

The real enemy? Not using your gifts. Sitting on your potential. Shrinking when you should be showing up.

Final Thoughts

I’ll be honest with you. I still get nervous. Still shy. Still prefer texting to talking.

But you know what I’ve learned?

Being shy doesn’t cancel out being impactful.

It doesn’t stop you from shining. It doesn’t stop you from speaking truth, teaching, creating, helping, leading, or loving.

You can be a shy person… and still be bold.

Still be brave.

Still be brilliant.

So don’t waste your energy trying to become someone you’re not.

Instead, put all that energy into becoming the best version of the person you already are.

Shy. Confident. Glowing. You.

Now go ahead. Do the thing.

Do it afraid. I’m rooting for you.