10 Crystal Clear Signs She Is Not Over Her Ex

While it would be nice to think every breakup ends clean and tidy, life doesn’t usually work like that.

Let’s be real. Breakups can be messy. Super messy. One minute you’re laughing at a meme, the next you’re tearing up because a random song reminds you of them. And if it was a deep relationship? Whew. It hits harder.

So yeah, healing from that takes time. It’s not always a quick bounce back. Sometimes, people carry bits of their past into something new. Even when they say they’re ready.

That’s where it gets tricky. Because even though she’s with you now, there might still be feelings lingering for her ex. And that stuff? It shows up in little ways.

So if you’ve got that uneasy feeling in your chest, like something’s off, you’re not crazy. And you’re not alone.

Let’s talk about the real stuff. The signs. The ones that make your gut go, “Hold up… what was that?”

Here are 10 crystal clear signs she is not over her ex.

1. She still talks to him

Now look, I get it. Not every ex needs to be banished into the void. Some people can be cool with their ex without it being a big deal.

But if she’s talking to him all the time, sharing inside jokes, telling him personal stuff, or worse… hiding the conversations from you?

That’s not friendship. That’s a connection she hasn’t let go of.

It gets even fishier if she steps outside to take his calls or always seems to be smiling at her phone but never lets you see who it is.

Ask yourself this: if the roles were reversed, how would she feel? If you were texting your ex every night before bed?

Exactly.

2. She stalks him online

Social media makes it too easy to keep tabs on people. One quick search and boom, you’re looking at your ex’s beach trip from two years ago. We’ve all done it. Once or twice.

But if she’s constantly scrolling his Instagram or watching every story he posts within minutes?

That’s obsession, not closure.

It’s even weirder when she’s checking out his friends or family. Like, what are you looking for? Clues? Updates? A reunion invite?

If you walk in and she quickly flips her screen, your instincts might be trying to tell you something.

3. She compares you to him

Oof. This one stings.

It starts small. “He used to take me to this place.” Or, “My ex always remembered my birthday without needing a reminder.”

You brush it off. Once. Twice.

But when it becomes a pattern? When every little thing turns into a comparison?

That’s emotional sabotage, my friend.

You should never feel like you’re auditioning for a role someone else already had. Especially not in your own relationship.

4. She hides your relationship

Okay. Some people are private. Not everyone wants to post their whole love life online.

But there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy.

If none of her friends know about you, if you’ve never been introduced to anyone in her circle, if she avoids holding your hand in public or always says “it’s complicated”…

You’re not her partner. You’re her placeholder.

And guess what? She might be hoping things patch up with her ex.

You deserve to be someone’s choice. Not their backup plan.

5. She keeps his stuff

We all have that one hoodie from an ex that was just too comfy to throw out. It happens.

But if she’s got a full-on shrine of old photos, love notes, gifts, and can’t bear to let them go?

That’s more than nostalgia. That’s emotional clutter.

If she still sleeps in his shirt or keeps a framed picture of the two of them beside her bed? Come on now.

You’re not competing with a memory. Or at least, you shouldn’t be.

6. She brings him up way too often

Look, everyone has a past. You’re not expecting her to pretend she’s never been in love before.

But if every story somehow circles back to “when me and my ex…” or she drops his name out of nowhere?

She’s still mentally living in that relationship.

Real talk. If she’s always reminiscing about the good times with him, where do you even fit in?

You’re the present. Not just a distraction from her past.

7. She avoids talking about the breakup

Ask her why things ended and she clams up. Or gives a vague, “It was complicated.”

She might change the subject. Or get defensive. Or even act like you’re being too nosy.

But here’s the thing. If she’s truly over it, she should be able to talk about it. Not in a bitter way. Just honest.

If she can’t even mention his name without her voice shaking, there’s probably still some healing to be done.

8. She never gets jealous

This one might sound like a weird flex. Like, “Wow, my girl is so chill, she never gets jealous.”

But… no jealousy at all? Ever? Even when you’re clearly getting attention from someone else?

That’s not always maturity. Sometimes, it’s detachment.

When someone really loves you, they care. Even if it’s just a flash of jealousy before they shake it off.

If she’s always emotionally flat, like she wouldn’t care if you dated someone else tomorrow, you have to ask why.

She might still be emotionally invested in someone else.

9. She’s emotionally unavailable

Some days she’s sweet and affectionate. Other days, it’s like she’s on another planet.

One minute she’s talking about the future. Next minute, she’s ghosting you for hours.

If you constantly feel like you’re reaching out and she’s pulling away, there’s probably something unresolved in her heart.

People can’t fully love you if they haven’t fully let go of someone else.

10. She still cries over him

This one? No sugarcoating.

If you ever catch her crying over her ex, whether she admits it or not, that’s all the confirmation you need.

Crying means it still hurts.

And if it still hurts that bad, she’s not ready to give you her whole heart.

You’re not her therapist. You’re not the rebound guy to soothe the pain.

You’re a person with feelings. And you deserve love that’s whole. Not a half-healed heart.

Final Words

Being with someone who’s still stuck on their ex is rough. You’re constantly trying to prove yourself, wondering if you’ll ever be enough.

That’s not fair. Not to you. Not to your peace of mind.

If these signs sound familiar, don’t just ignore them. Talk to her. Share what you feel.

Maybe she’s not aware of how much it’s affecting you. Maybe she’s just confused and hasn’t fully processed everything.

But don’t gaslight yourself. If your gut says something’s off, it probably is.

At the end of the day, love should feel safe. It should feel secure. Not like you’re in competition with a ghost from the past.

Choose peace. Choose clarity. Choose someone who chooses you fully.

No one deserves to play second fiddle to a memory.