How to overcome low self-esteem : here is how i did

If you struggle with low self-esteem, I can 100% relate to you. I was in the same place for years until I finally learned how to overcome it around 3 to 4 years back. It was not easy, but it was life-changing. In this post, I will share everything I did and how you can too.

Living with low self-esteem

Having low self-esteem is bitter. It sneaks into your everyday life quietly. Some people may not take it seriously, but if you live with it, you know how much it can crush you inside.

Honestly, I did not even realize how deeply it was affecting me until I managed to overcome it. Looking back now, I can see it was tied into everything.

For some, it shows up in small ways that do not disturb life too much. But for people like me years ago, it became huge. It touched every part of my life.

I hated my body. I felt under-confident in every setting. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, my face, my body, even the way I spoke. That constant shame and discomfort started to affect everything.

School was hard. Social settings were even harder. I spent most of my time in my head, overthinking everything, criticizing myself, and feeling low.

And that went on for years.

But the good news is this. Low self-esteem is not permanent. You can change it. You can build yourself back up. You can start to like yourself, even love yourself. And when that shift happens, your whole life looks different.

What is low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem basically means thinking low of yourself. You feel undervalued. You feel incapable. You feel inferior in one thing, or sometimes in everything.

For some, it is mostly about physical appearance. You think everyone looks better than you. You constantly compare your looks.

For others, it is about worthiness. You feel you are not worthy of love, success, or abundance.

Your self-beliefs are mostly negative. Your perception of yourself is small. You doubt yourself in everything. You do not trust yourself with tasks, choices, or relationships.

And when you think that way, you start to dream smaller. You accept less than you deserve. Deep inside you may wish for more, but you do not allow yourself to aim for it because you feel you are not capable.

I lived like this for years. And it drained me.

Signs you have low self-esteem

You might already know you struggle with low self-esteem, but sometimes we do not even notice. Here are some signs:

• Constantly criticizing yourself in your head.
• At the same time, being terrified of criticism from others.
• Letting others disrespect you or make fun of you.
• Thinking others are always better than you.
• A strong fear of failing or making mistakes.
• Struggling to set boundaries or say no.
• People-pleasing at the cost of your own needs.
• Believing you have no talents or gifts.
• Finding it hard to accept compliments.

If most of these feel familiar, then yes, you might be stuck in low self-esteem too.

Why do we struggle with low self-esteem?

This was an eye-opener for me. Because none of us are born with low self-esteem. Babies are not insecure about their looks or their worth.

Low self-esteem comes from outside.

As children, we learn how to see ourselves through the words and actions of the people around us. Parents, teachers, relatives, classmates. Even media.

When they criticize you, when they compare you, when they tell you what you can or cannot do, those words sink deep. And slowly, they become your inner voice.

If your parents said you were talented, you believed it. If they said you were not, you believed that too.

Growing up, I constantly heard little criticisms about my looks, my abilities, my choices. Over time, those outside voices became my self-talk. I started to criticize myself without anyone else around.

This happens to so many of us. And it stays with us unless we work on it.

Is it possible to fix low self-esteem?

Absolutely yes.

When I was struggling, I thought I would never be able to escape it. I thought this was just who I was. But now that I have come such a long way, I can confidently tell you that it is not only possible, but easier than you think.

It takes inner work. It takes awareness. But once you start, the changes are so freeing that you will never want to go back.

So let me share with you everything I did to overcome low self-esteem.

How to overcome low self-esteem – 17 ways

1. Understand how it is affecting you

The first step is being aware. When I realized that my low self-esteem was not just a feeling, but something shaping my entire life, it hit me hard.

It was not just about feeling low. It was affecting my friendships, my confidence in school, my ability to try new things, even my happiness.

Sometimes we cling to low self-esteem because it feels familiar. It becomes our identity. But once you admit to yourself that it is hurting you, you will want to heal.

2. Change your mindset

Low self-esteem is in your mind. It is not about your outside world. It is about your beliefs.

I had to sit down and write every negative belief I held about myself. Then I started to challenge them.

If I wrote, “I am not talented,” I replaced it with, “I can become talented at anything I put my focus and time into.”

And then I proved it. I picked small things to learn, put in effort daily, and saw myself improve. That was evidence that the positive belief was true.

Your mindset shapes your self-esteem. Change it and your life changes.

3. Stop seeking external validation

For years, I could not make a single decision without asking someone else. What should I wear? What am I good at? What should I do?

I gave my power away. I let others define me.

The truth is, everyone has their own opinions. And they do not always think carefully before saying something. Sometimes their words come from their own insecurities.

Once I stopped asking for approval, I started hearing my own voice more clearly. And that was freeing.

4. Change your inner dialogue

The inner voice is powerful. The way you speak to yourself daily can either crush you or lift you.

I used to criticize myself all the time. That was the main reason I felt low.

So I started reversing it. Whenever a harsh thought popped up, I said the opposite. Slowly, my self-talk became kinder. And that built my confidence more than anything else.

5. Just be yourself and embrace it

When you dislike yourself, you try to act like someone else. That is exhausting.

I had to rediscover who I was without other people’s opinions. What do I like? What do I dislike? What makes me feel loved? What am I good at?

Once you see your own uniqueness, you realize how amazing you actually are. And that is when self-acceptance starts.

6. Do more self-love practices

Low self-esteem grows from a lack of self-love. So I began practicing habits that made me feel cared for.

Simple things like journaling, taking time for myself, speaking kindly to myself, even pampering myself. It made me realize I deserved my own love.

Self-love is not selfish. It is necessary.

7. Move your body

Exercise changed so much for me. Not because of the physical results, but because of the mental strength it built.

Moving your body daily, sweating, feeling your heart beat, reminds you of how capable you are. It boosts confidence in ways you cannot imagine until you try it.

8. Appreciate yourself more

I used to overlook everything I did. I only focused on what I lacked.

So I began appreciating small things every day. Finishing my workout. Reading a book. Waking up on time. Even cooking a meal.

Those little celebrations add up. And slowly, you start to feel proud of yourself again.

9. Stand up for yourself

When I had low self-esteem, I let people say anything to me. I let them joke, disrespect, and criticize without speaking up.

Deep down, I thought maybe they were right.

But the truth is, if you do not respect yourself, others will not either. The moment you start standing up for yourself, people treat you differently.

10. Failure is not the enemy

One big thing I had to learn was that failure is not bad.

Growing up, failure was treated like the end of the world. Fail a test, and you are punished. Mess up, and you are shamed.

So I became terrified of failing.

But failure is proof that you are learning. It is part of growth. Every successful person has failed. So now, instead of fearing it, I use it to learn and improve.

11. Set boundaries with people

Some people will always trigger you or try to pull you down. And you do not need to give them space in your life.

Learn to say no. Limit contact. Protect your peace.

Boundaries are a form of self-respect.

12. Tell yourself you are worthy of everything

This one was powerful for me. Every day, I started affirming that I am worthy of abundance, love, success, everything good.

At first, it felt fake. But over time, I started to believe it. And when good things happened, I stopped doubting if I deserved them.

You are worthy. Repeat it daily.

13. Journal and affirmations

Journaling made me aware of my thoughts. Affirmations helped me replace negative beliefs with positive ones.

I still do both regularly. They keep me grounded and remind me of my worth.

14. Read other people’s success stories

Social media can be negative sometimes, but it also has a good side.

I started following people who shared their struggles and how they overcame them. Their stories motivated me and reminded me that I was not alone.

If they could do it, so could I.

15. Don’t shrink yourself, aim bigger

Low self-esteem makes you dream small. You feel like big goals are not for you.

But the truth is, we are all limitless. The only thing stopping you is your belief.

Think back to something you thought was impossible once but later achieved. That shows how much your mind can trick you.

So do not shrink. Aim bigger.

16. Own up to your mistakes and fix them

Mistakes used to scare me. I thought they defined me.

But now, I just accept them. If I mess up, I take responsibility, fix it, and move on. That way, I trust myself more.

17. Be kind to yourself

At the end of the day, the biggest change you can make is choosing kindness towards yourself.

Instead of harsh words, give yourself grace. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend.

It is kindness that heals low self-esteem more than anything else.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming low self-esteem is not about becoming perfect. It is about changing how you see yourself.

I went from being someone who constantly doubted myself, hated my body, and feared failure, to someone who now feels confident, capable, and worthy.

It took small steps. It took practice. But it worked.

And if I can do it, you can too.

Be patient with yourself. Take one step at a time. And remember, you are already worthy of love, success, and happiness.

✨ That is my story and my 17 ways to overcome low self-esteem.

So tell me, which one of these do you want to try first?