10 Clear Signs He Is Not Sorry For Hurting You

It hurts when someone you love and trust turns around and breaks your heart. And what makes it worse is when they act like it’s nothing. Like they didn’t just tear a hole through your chest. And then, to top it all off, they don’t even feel bad about it. No remorse. No apology. Nothing.

Let’s be real, that’s some cold behavior.

If you’re sitting there wondering if the guy who hurt you is even sorry at all, let’s talk. Let’s break it down. I’m going to walk you through some clear signs that show he’s not sorry. Not even a little bit.

Because the truth is, a man who’s truly sorry won’t just say the words. He’ll act it out. He’ll show it in his behavior. And if he’s not doing that? You’ve got your answer.

So here we go.

1. He doesn’t apologize for his actions

This should be the biggest sign. Like, hello?

If someone hurts you and they can’t even say the words “I’m sorry,” that’s a huge red flag. A man who can’t apologize is basically saying, “Yeah, I did it. And I don’t care.”

Sometimes it feels like those two little words are made of concrete. Like it’s too hard for them to spit it out. Why?

Pride. Ego. Stubbornness.

He doesn’t want to look weak. Or maybe he thinks if he says sorry, he’s handing you power over him.

But you know what? It takes strength to own up to your mess. Apologizing doesn’t make him weak. It makes him human.

So when he can’t even give you that, it’s not because he “forgot” or “didn’t think it was a big deal.” It’s because he doesn’t care enough.

2. He makes no attempt to make it up to you

Okay, let’s say he does apologize. Cool. But then what?

If he really means it, he should be doing something. Anything. To make you feel better. To fix the situation. To show you he wants to do better.

But when he just drops a weak “sorry” and keeps moving like nothing happened? Nah. That’s not real.

Let me give you some examples.

He left you alone when you were going through something painful. Ghosted you for no reason. Showed up again like nothing happened. That’s not love. That’s not remorse.

Or maybe he benched you. Kept you in his life just enough to not lose you but never treated you like a priority. Like you were on standby until he was bored or horny.

Do you see a guy like that doing anything to make it up to you?

Did he sit you down and explain himself? Did he give you the honesty you deserved? Probably not.

Because men like that think they’re always right. Or worse, they think you’ll always forgive them.

3. He cares less about your feelings

Let me tell you something simple but real. If you tell someone you’re hurt, and they brush it off, that’s all you need to know.

You don’t need to give a TED talk on how you feel.

You don’t need to prove your pain.

If he hurt you and you tell him, and his reaction is “it’s not that serious” or “you’re being dramatic,” that’s him saying he doesn’t care.

He’s not in your shoes. But that doesn’t mean he gets to decide how you feel.

Even if it wasn’t on purpose, a decent man would be like, “Damn, I didn’t know I hurt you. I’m sorry. What can I do?”

But him? Nah. He’d rather gaslight you. Make it your fault. Flip the whole situation on you so he doesn’t have to feel guilty.

He cares more about being right than being kind.

4. He’s not interested in being a better person

Here’s something people don’t talk about enough. Growth.

If a guy knows he’s got issues, and he’s truly sorry for how those issues affect you, he’ll try to change.

Let’s say he’s emotionally unavailable. Or he’s got a temper. Or he’s just careless with your feelings.

If he’s not working on that? Not reading, not going to therapy, not even trying to do better?

He’s not sorry.

He’s okay with being the way he is. And he’s okay with how that hurts you.

In fact, he might even act proud of it. Like it’s part of his personality. Like, “That’s just how I am.”

Cool. That’s just how he is. But that doesn’t mean you have to stick around for it.

A man who wants to grow for you is a man who’s sorry. A man who refuses to grow doesn’t care if he hurts you again.

5. He’s not keen on getting back together with you

Let’s talk about what happens after the hurt.

If he really feels bad, he’ll try to fix things between you two. He’ll want to talk. He’ll want to rebuild.

But if he’s acting like it’s whatever? Not calling. Not texting. Not checking in to see how you’re doing?

Then he’s probably not sorry.

I get that some people apologize and still move on. That’s fine. Some people just want to clear the air and be done.

But when a guy claims he’s sorry and still wants to be with you, he’ll show it. He’ll fight for you.

He’ll talk about the future. He’ll ask what it would take to earn your trust back.

If he’s not doing that? Then girl, he’s already moved on. And that fake apology? Just for show.

6. He keeps doing the same thing that hurt you

This one right here? It’s the ultimate test.

He says sorry, but then he does it again. And again. And again.

That’s not an apology. That’s a routine.

You tell him, “Hey, this thing you do? It hurts me.”

He nods. Says he’s sorry. Promises he’ll stop.

But he doesn’t.

He keeps showing up late. Keeps disappearing. Keeps lying. Keeps flirting with other girls. Keeps treating your heart like it’s a toy.

And somehow, every time, he’s got an excuse.

Listen, apologies without change are just manipulation.

If he was really sorry, he’d try. He’d put in the effort to not hurt you the same way twice.

But if he keeps doing the same thing, he’s not sorry.

He’s just comfortable.

7. He avoids the conversation altogether

Whenever you try to talk about what happened, he shuts down.

Changes the subject. Gets annoyed. Says stuff like, “Why are you bringing this up again?”

Girl, it’s because he doesn’t want to deal with the mess he made.

A man who’s sorry wants to talk. Even if it’s awkward. Even if it’s hard.

He wants to hear you out. He wants to make things clear. He wants to know how he can fix it.

But this guy? He just wants to sweep it under the rug.

You can’t heal from something you can’t even talk about. And he knows that.

But he’s more worried about his comfort than your closure.

8. He tries to guilt-trip you instead

You bring up the pain. And suddenly he’s the victim.

You’re upset, but somehow he’s the one sulking.

You’re crying, and he’s telling you how you always make him feel like a bad person.

Excuse me?

He hurt you. You bring it up. And now you’re supposed to feel bad for making him uncomfortable?

No. That’s not how this works.

If he’s sorry, he’ll take the heat. He won’t flip it around on you. He won’t make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself.

If he’s playing the victim, it’s not remorse. It’s manipulation.

9. He acts like nothing ever happened

This one stings.

He hurt you. Maybe things went downhill. Maybe you even cut things off.

But then, out of the blue, he texts you like nothing happened.

Sends a meme. Asks what you’re doing. Wants to “hang.”

No mention of what happened. No apology. No acknowledgment.

Just vibes.

That’s him pretending your pain didn’t matter.

A man who’s truly sorry can’t act like nothing happened. Because it weighs on him. It keeps him up at night.

But this guy? He’s got zero guilt. Zero self-awareness.

He wants access to you without accountability.

10. He’s more upset about you being mad than about what he did

Here’s the truth. Some guys aren’t sorry they hurt you. They’re just sorry they have to deal with your reaction.

He’s not mad that he did something wrong. He’s mad that you’re calling him out.

He’s not sad that he caused pain. He’s sad that you’re giving him the cold shoulder.

Big difference.

If his focus is on your anger instead of his actions, he’s not sorry.

He just wants the storm to pass so he can go back to doing whatever he wants.

What To Do If He’s Not Sorry For Hurting You

You can’t heal in a place where your hurt is ignored.

If he’s not sorry, and you know it, you need to stop waiting for him to change.

Stop waiting for the apology that may never come.

Stop hoping he’ll finally get it.

Because the more chances you give someone who doesn’t care, the more they’ll hurt you.

It’s hard, I know. Especially if you love him.

But your peace matters more.

You deserve someone who sees your pain and feels it too. Who wants to protect your heart, not play with it.

If he’s not sorry, then he’s not for you.

Let yourself grieve. Let yourself cry. But don’t go back.

You’re not weak for walking away.

You’re strong for choosing yourself.

And one day, you’ll look back at this and thank yourself for leaving.

You’ve got this.