WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP OFFICIAL?

You’re hanging out every week. Texting often. Talking late into the night. And honestly? You love how you feel after each time you’re with them.

You smile to yourself on your way home. You replay some of the things they said. Maybe even check your phone again to see if they texted you already.

So far, so good.

They’re cute. The conversation flows. There’s chemistry. Maybe even some butterflies.

And if you’re honest, you’re starting to really like this person.

But here’s the thing.

Some time has passed. You’re still spending time together. You’ve gone on more than a few dates. You’ve met each other’s friends. Maybe even had a couple of sleepovers.

But no one has brought up the question.

What are we?

It sits in the back of your mind. That quiet little question. It pops up when you see them laughing at their phone. It whispers when you lie awake next to them, wondering what they’re thinking.

You want to ask. But you also don’t want to scare them away. You’re afraid to come off too serious. Too soon.

But then one day, without warning, they ask:

“Am I your girlfriend?”

“Are you seeing anyone else?”

“Would you call me your partner?”

And boom. There it is. The moment you’ve been waiting for. Or maybe dreading.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP OFFICIAL?

Okay, let’s be real.

If you’re at that stage where you’re wondering what you are to each other, that feeling isn’t random.

It matters.

It’s your inner self nudging you to define things. To create clarity.

And you should listen to it.

Why? Because floating around in a “situationship” can mess with your head. It’s like emotional limbo. You’re sort of in. But also sort of out. And that can be exhausting.

So let’s talk about what it really means to go official.

Because it’s not always about changing your Facebook status or slapping a label on it. It’s deeper than that.

It’s about a mutual understanding. A shared agreement. A choice to be committed.

And that can look different for different people. For some, it’s about calling each other boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. For others, it’s introducing them to family or telling your coworkers about them.

It might be deciding to be exclusive. Or having the “we’re not seeing other people” conversation.

Whatever it looks like for you, going official is a shift. A step forward.

And before you take that step, there are some things to think about.

1. Do you have similar values?

Let’s start with the big one.

Values.

We’re talking about the core stuff. The beliefs and principles that shape how you live your life.

Maybe you value honesty. Or kindness. Or family. Maybe religion is important to you. Or ambition. Or freedom.

Now the real question is, does your person value similar things?

This isn’t about liking the same movies or both hating pineapple on pizza.

This is about the foundation. What you both believe in.

Because when values clash, things can get messy. And love alone won’t fix it.

But when you share common values, it’s easier to build something solid.

So take some time. Think about what matters most to you. Have real conversations. Ask real questions.

Don’t ignore red flags. And don’t pretend your values don’t matter.

They do.

2. Are you emotionally ready?

This part is huge.

Because making a relationship official isn’t just about saying the words.

It’s about being ready to actually show up for someone.

Emotionally.

Are you in a place where you can be vulnerable?

Are you okay with letting someone in?

Can you handle the fact that their mood might affect your mood? That you might need to be their support system sometimes?

Relationships are emotional investments. And like any investment, they come with risks and rewards.

So if you’re still healing, still unsure, or still thinking about your ex every night, maybe take a pause.

Be honest with yourself. And with them.

3. How do you feel when you introduce them to people?

Picture this.

You run into a friend while out with your person. Your friend asks, “Who’s this?”

How do you respond?

Do you stumble?

Do you mumble, “Oh, this is… uh, my friend?”

Or do you say it loud and proud, “This is my girlfriend.”

Your reaction says a lot.

Because how you introduce someone shows how you really feel about the relationship.

If you’re proud and happy, that’s a good sign.

If you’re awkward or hesitant, that might mean something’s off.

Pay attention to your gut in moments like that.

4. Are you ready to be committed?

Let’s not sugarcoat this.

Relationships are work.

They take time, effort, and consistency.

Being official means showing up even when it’s inconvenient.

It means sticking around when things aren’t perfect.

It means choosing your partner over and over again.

Are you ready for that?

And is your partner ready too?

Because it can’t be one-sided.

Commitment only works when both people are in it. Fully.

5. Are you willing to deal with their flaws?

Real talk.

Your person has flaws.

They might snore. Or overthink everything. Or be super messy. Or hate texting.

Whatever it is, you’ve probably seen a glimpse of it by now.

And trust me, more will show up with time.

Are you willing to deal with it?

And to what extent?

Can you love them through their bad days?

Can you accept their quirks without trying to change them?

Nobody’s perfect. And if you think your person is, you probably haven’t spent enough time together yet.

Give it time. Then ask yourself: Can I do life with this person, flaws and all?

6. Do you feel safe and respected?

This one should be a given.

But sadly, it isn’t always.

Do you feel emotionally safe around them?

Can you express yourself without fear?

Do they listen when you talk?

Do they treat you with kindness, even when they’re upset?

Respect is the foundation of any good relationship.

If it’s missing, don’t ignore that.

7. Do you both want the same things?

One of the most painful things is realizing you love someone who wants a totally different future.

Maybe you want marriage and kids, and they don’t.

Maybe you want to travel the world, and they want to settle down in one place.

Loving someone doesn’t mean you’ll automatically be compatible long-term.

So talk about your goals. Your dreams. Your plans.

See if your futures can align.

It’s better to have those conversations early than to find out years later that you were on different pages all along.

8. Do you feel like you can be yourself?

This is big.

Do you feel like you can show up as the real you?

Or are you constantly performing?

Can you be silly, weird, emotional, deep?

Can you have bad days without pretending everything’s fine?

Being in a relationship where you have to hide parts of yourself is exhausting.

The right person will make you feel safe being you. Fully.

9. Have you talked about exclusivity?

This is the actual defining-the-relationship part.

Have you talked about seeing other people?

Have you both agreed to be exclusive?

Because until that conversation happens, don’t assume anything.

You might think it’s obvious. But assumptions can lead to heartbreak.

Be clear. Be direct. Have the talk.

10. Does it feel right?

Sometimes, it’s just a feeling.

You feel calm around them.

You feel seen.

You feel like this could really be something.

That gut feeling matters.

It doesn’t mean everything will be perfect.

But it means something inside you feels safe and open and hopeful.

And that’s worth paying attention to.

Final Thoughts

Going official is a big step. It’s not just about labels. It’s about intention.

It’s saying, “I choose you.”

So take your time. Reflect. Talk.

And if the signs are there and your heart says yes…

Then go ahead and make it official.

Love deserves clarity.

And so do you.