Why Do Men Stay In A Sexless Marriage?

So, let’s have a little heart-to-heart, shall we?

You might be sitting there thinking, “How on earth do men survive in a marriage where there’s no sex?”

You’re not alone. A lot of people wonder the same thing. And the answer isn’t always so black and white.

First off, what exactly does it mean to be in a sexless marriage?

Truth is, that depends on who you ask.

Some people think it means no sex at all. Others believe if you’re not getting it as often as you want, it might as well be a drought.

Let’s say person A wants it daily. Person B thinks three times a week is good enough. That’s not a sexless marriage. That’s just a libido mismatch.

Now, if person A gets married to person C, who only wants it once a year… Yeah, now we’re talking sexless territory.

So it’s all relative.

It’s more about the gap between what one partner wants and what the other is willing to give.

What Are The Effects Of Sexless Marriages On Men?

Let’s be real. Sex is a big deal for many men.

Not because they’re animals. But because it’s one of the ways they feel connected, loved, wanted.

So when that part of a marriage goes missing? It can hit hard.

Depression. Frustration. Feeling invisible.

And yep, even anger. Like, the kind that bubbles underneath the surface and shows up when the toothpaste isn’t squeezed right.

Low self-esteem? You bet.

Some men start to wonder, “Am I not attractive anymore?” or worse, “Is she getting it somewhere else?”

It messes with their head.

And some even say there could be a link to prostate health issues when men go without sex for too long.

So yeah. It’s not just about “getting some.” It’s deeper than that.

Why Do Men Stay In A Sexless Marriage?

Now, here’s the kicker.

If it sucks so much, why do men stay?

Here’s the tea. And it might surprise you.

1. There’s still love and emotional intimacy

Sex is important. No doubt.

But it’s not the only reason people get married.

Some men stay because they genuinely love their wives. They’re emotionally connected. They laugh together. They talk. They support each other.

They might miss the sex, but everything else is good.

Think about it. When you’re old and gray, what matters more? Hot steamy nights or having someone who gets your jokes and remembers your doctor’s appointment?

Exactly.

2. They believe it’s temporary

Maybe she just had a baby. Or is going through menopause. Or she’s struggling with mental health.

He might think, “This is just a phase. We’ll get back on track.”

And that hope? It’s strong. Especially if they’ve talked about it and she’s open to finding a solution.

Sometimes it really is just a rough patch. Not the end.

3. Sex just isn’t that big a deal to them

Not every guy is walking around with sex on the brain 24/7.

Some men are chill. Maybe they’re more into emotional connection, companionship, raising kids, building a life.

Sex is nice, sure. But it’s not the make-or-break for them.

And if they’re getting love in other ways? They’re good.

4. Low libido on both sides

Yep. This happens too.

Some couples just don’t have a strong sex drive. And that’s fine. If both are okay with it, then hey, no problem.

They’d rather cuddle on the couch watching Netflix than do the horizontal tango.

And who are we to judge?

5. Cultural or religious beliefs

In some cultures or religions, divorce isn’t just frowned upon. It’s a full-blown scandal.

So even if he’s miserable, he might stay. For the family name. For the kids. For what people will say at the mosque or the temple.

And sometimes, it’s not just external pressure.

It’s internal. Guilt. Duty. Commitment.

6. They’re both asexual

Yup, asexuality is a thing.

Some people just don’t feel sexual attraction. Ever.

And if both husband and wife are on that same page? Then a sexless marriage isn’t even a problem. It’s just their normal.

And they’re living happily ever after, minus the steamy nights.

7. They choose the lesser evil

Leaving a marriage is no joke.

Even if you’re unhappy, the idea of starting over can be terrifying.

He might think, “What if I leave and end up alone?” or “What if the next woman has her own issues?”

Sometimes, it feels easier to stay and manage the devil you know than jump into the unknown.

Maybe everything else in the marriage is fine. She’s a good mom. A good friend. A partner in every way except sex.

So he stays. Because the alternative feels riskier.

How To Deal With A Sexless Marriage

Alright. So let’s say you’re the guy in this situation.

You’re not ready to throw in the towel. But you also don’t want to feel this lonely forever.

What can you do?

1. Talk to a marriage counselor

Yep. Therapy.

I know it sounds like a big step. Maybe even a little scary.

But it works. These professionals know how to dig deep, pull out the hidden issues, and help couples rebuild intimacy.

Sometimes, just the act of going to therapy shows your partner how serious you are.

And no, it’s not admitting failure. It’s choosing to fight for your marriage.

2. Talk to your wife

I know. This sounds basic.

But you’d be surprised how many couples don’t talk about this stuff.

Like, really talk.

Find a calm time. No distractions. No blaming. Just honesty.

Say how you feel. Ask how she feels.

Maybe she’s feeling pressure. Or she doesn’t realize how deep your hurt runs.

Communication opens doors. Every single time.

3. Schedule sex

I can already hear you laughing. “Who schedules sex?”

You do. If you want to bring it back.

We schedule gym sessions, meetings, and even lunch breaks.

Why not intimacy?

It might sound unromantic, but it can work.

Plan it. Make it fun. Light candles. Dress up. Send flirty texts before D-day.

Turn it into something you both look forward to.

4. Rebuild physical connection

Sometimes, it’s not about jumping straight into sex.

Start small.

Hold her hand. Give her a massage. Kiss her like you mean it. Touch her arm when you pass by.

Reconnect physically in ways that don’t demand sex.

That creates safety. Comfort. Attraction.

And guess what? That can lead to more intimacy.

Slowly. Naturally.

Conclusion

So, why do men stay in sexless marriages?

Because love is complicated.

Because marriage is more than just sex.

Because sometimes, people hope. They adjust. They compromise.

But that doesn’t mean you should suffer in silence.

If this is your story, know that change is possible. But it starts with honesty.

With yourself. And with your partner.

You deserve connection. Passion. To feel wanted.

So start the conversation. Seek help if you need to.

And remember, you’re not alone in this.

Not even close.

Hehehe.